operation adopt

1 Year today

2012-02-08T21:59:00.000-05:00

It was one year today that we got the best phone call ever. A year since the referral of our sweet little Eyob. Hard to believe that this year has gone so fast but at times (waiting for court) seemed to take forever. I feel so blessed to be chosen to be his mom. We are so blessed to have him in our family. He has been an absolute joy to have around. We literally fight over who gets to snuggle with him when we watch a movie. He is all boy (busy, busy, busy). But one great snuggler and hugger and kisser. My only regret is that there is only one of him.

referral picture

Eyob now!!

With those eyes he can get away with almost anything.
We are so thankful that God carried us through the waiting and we did not give up. He has blessed us beyond what we ever dreamed.

Happy Birthday!!!

2012-01-21T20:10:00.000-05:00

Well it's Eyob's 3rd birthday today. I can't believe he's already 3. It was almost a year ago that we received the referal for him. He is doing amazing. His english is coming along really well. He can say short phrases and understand almost everything I tell him. He is very polite saying "thank you" whenever someone does something for him. He's got a great sense of humour.
It's been so nice now that Christmas is over. Ever since we've come back from Ethiopia it's been hard to really try and stay home and make sure the bonding was really happening. I knew he loved us but he was still quite friendly with others as well. Since we had Barry's mom's passing in November and then Christmas on the heels of that we have been so busy with functions that involve lots of people. There had also been numerous family functions and some well intentioned people holding him ( a lot) and basically giving him everything he asked for. Since the new year I have made a point of staying home with him as much as I can and giving him my full attention. People have a hard time understanding the whole bonding process. And I have a hard time telling everyone to back off.

My kids love teaching him all sorts of things. In this picture he is "cool" and my daughter has him repeating the phrase "I am cool". The poor guy has no chance but he loves all the attention. He has a whole army of teachers at his disposal. (Not always teaching him the best things LOL). Anyway just wanted to touch base as a bunch of you had told me not to end my blog.

2 Months

2011-12-02T23:08:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe that it has already been 2 months since we stepped into the Toronto airport. I have not been a good blogger. Nor do I intend on being one. I guess I mainly set up my blog to keep people updated on the progress of our adoption. I have found that I do not enjoy blogging. I reminds me to much of my english classes. I have always been bad at journaling. My poor kids won't have too much written down about their growing up years. I have taken a lot of pictures though.
Things have been going well with Eyob (all things considering). We had been home only 2 weeks trying to set routines and adjust to each other when my husbands mother took a turn for the worse. I had mentioned her in a previous blog. She developed a blood disorder about 7 years ago and it was only a matter of time. My prayer was that she would meet Eyob. That prayer was answered- thank you God. She went into paliative care in her home and that meant we wanted to spend as much time with her as we could. The next 2 weeks were a blur of visiting and helping take care of her. Eyob was bounced around between their house, friends houses and staying home with my older kids. I must say he was somewhat miserable at times. He did end up bonding a lot with aunts, uncles and cousins. One of his favorite's was his grandpa. And so many days he was able to get his grandma smiling dispite all the pain she was in. He literaly was a gift from God. All those times in the summer when I wondered about God's timing. My questions were all answered. He was the LIFE in a time when there was so much pain and ultimately death. Everyone loved having him around just to listen to him and watch him. On November 8th my dear mother-in-law went home to be with her savior. We made Eyob a part of the crazy days to follow. Everyone wanted him around just so we could smile. He was the positive energy (if I can say that??) at the visitations. He was the joy at the funeral (wierd to say that). When my husband went on stage to say the eulogy, Eyob wriggled out of our seat and went up on stage to hold his daddy's hand. Oh how that touched everyone.
We are now about 2 1/2 weeks post funeral and I finally feel like we are finally getting our groove. Eyob has an amazing ability to make everyone laugh. He freely gives hugs and kisses to everyone in the family. He loves to play with his siblings and farm with his daddy and grocery shop with his mommy. ( And yes there are times when he frustrates me beyond belief). He just seems like a very typical almost 3 year old.
All those times I felt like giving up on the adoption. I think of everything I would have missed out on. It blows my mind that I almost didn't have this amazing blessing. I know there will still be challenges ahead. We don't have all the answers. I have raised 4 kids and know that they can all be unpredictable and all have their seasons where they go through tough stuff. We expect no different from Eyob. We know that we will experience great joys and also great frustrations. That's all part of growing and we hope and pray that he will grow into a strong young man.
I probably will not post a whole lot after this. I am not quite ready to loose my connection with all my cyber friends I've made. I hope to rejoice with some of you when I hear of your referals and when your kids become part of your families.
I pray that you will all have a blessed Christmas with friends and family. Hold tight to God.

I'm having a hard time uploading some new pictures. Crazy internet out in the country. I'll try and get some new ones soon.

4 weeks

2011-10-21T14:25:00.000-04:00

I can't believe that we have been home 4 weeks today. It seems to have gone so fast and yet it seems like we have had Eyob forever. Eyob seems like a well adjusted typical 2 yr old. One moment he can frustrate me and the next moment he has me rolling with laughter. This evening seemed like one comedy routine after another. In Ethiopia we ( that's you as well Ashleigh) assumed that he was a calm mild mannered boy. He is anything but. He is busy, funny and stubborn.
We have been battling with food issues. He does not want eat a lot of the things we make. I totally expected this but am still frustrated by it. Lately he has been putting different things in his mouth and testing them. If we would let him eat cereal 3 meals a day he would be a happy camper.
Another struggle that just surfaced over the last few days is wearing winter gear. He HATES his winter coat and hat. It could be a long cold winter for him if he doesn't give in on this one. Wait until we try the snowpants. Hmmm. That could be interesting.
On the whole he is a happy delightful little guy. He sleeps through the night. That happened about the second week with a bit of training from me. I know a lot of people bring their little ones (especially newly adopted children) into bed with them but I can't do it. I'm an insomniac on good days and to have a squirming toddler in bed with me means no sleep at all. I need to be a refreshed good mom during the day. He also has naps every day. That makes an "old, exhausted" mother happy.
He LOVES his siblings. It's so fun to watch them all interact with him in different ways. I get a kick out of watching our 17 yr old son sit down and look at car magazines with him. He cries every morning when they go off to school. He loves to go on outings. So far he's an amazing little shopper. He loves all the big farm machinery he gets to go in with his daddy.
I'm in awe that this little guy was entrusted to us. God allowed us the privilege of raising Eyob and our other 4 wonderful bio kids. I think that about sums up my feelings at this moment.

I Never Realized....

2011-10-09T22:07:00.000-04:00

I never realized that it would be this sweet.
I never realized that I spend hours just staring at your little face.
I never realized you would completely capture the love of the whole family.
I never realized that God would save such a precious little boy for us.
I never realized that it would be this sweet.

Just a quick update. We are doing well. Eyob has captured the hearts of everyone inculding my teen son. He has been a delighful little guy. He seems to be doing well in bonding with us. He is trying new foods and new english words. He plays well with the kids. He does not like our animals but that is improving as well. We feel so blessed to have him in our family. He can be so silly at times. He can also be a typical 2 yr old which is good to see. ( Maybe not so good at times).:) All those years of waiting, I can't imagine any other child with us now. The best part is that he is so huggy and snuggly.

MEET EYOB

2011-10-02T10:29:00.000-04:00

Hey Everyone,

I haven't posted for a long time. I wanted to wait until everything was definite and there were no more setbacks. We just came home from picking up our new son. Last time I posted we had not even passed court. Well we were able to pass court on Aug 5th. Everything went quickly and smoothly form there on. We received the visa call Sept. 19th and were on a plane Sept. 21st. Our "Gothcha Day" for Eyob was Sept. 24th. He's a sweetheart and we are so blessed to be able to welcome him into our family.
We arrived in Ont. late Thursday evening. Our kids are so excited to be able to get to know him. He has had a bit of a rough start here. We already took him into the clinic with a double ear infection. he's having a hard time adjusting to the new time. Thank you everyone for your prayers and words of encouragement throughout this long wait to bring Eyob home. In hindsight we have seen God work through this whole process. At the time we wondered what he was doing. God provided us with a huge miracle and because of that we have Eyob home with us.
I hope to write more of our trip later. At this time we are all adjusting and are happily tired most of the time.

Small Miracle

2011-07-27T13:37:00.000-04:00

At this point I will take any good news I can get. I found out that MOWA has sent in their supporting statement and now it needs to go back to the judge to be signed (a formality) and then they give us a new court date. This all should be done within the next couple of weeks. I was told that they are now booking court into mid Oct. and that seems like an eternity away especially since we have waited so long. Pray that we will get one before that. It's a possibility since we have already done the birth family court . I'm not sure how it works but I'm guessing that those with mid Oct court dates are that late because they have to do birth family court before that and court only resumes Sept. 26th. Please pray with me that we will get a early court date.
2 more months!!!!! It seems like forever but it isn't really.
I received this info today while in the car and was listening to a Christian radio station. A few minutes after the call a song by Downhere (I think that's the name) came on and the few lyrics that stood out were "HOPE, IT IS RISING.....". So suitable for the moment. It does feel like hope is bubbling up and that there is possibly an end in site.

Downer Posts

2011-07-23T15:59:00.000-04:00

I've noticed that most of my posts recently have been fairly depressing. Although the news we have been receiving has been grim, we do have wonderful things happening in our lives. With this blog I just tend to focus on my adoption which has been facing many hurdles recently. The wonderful things in our lives are named Kyle, Rachel, Kelsey and Zach. Our children are what keeps us going. God has blessed us with amazing kids. Not perfect- but amazing. Our oldest (16) has switched jobs this summer. Instead of working in a grocery store stocking shelves he is doing construction and learning new skills. He has gotten his license and has become very independent. My grey hairs have tripled since he bought a motorcycle. Rachel (15) is busy working as a cashier at our local pharmacy. Loves her job and loves interacting with the elderly. I still have to chauffeur her around a lot. My other 2 are working on the farm hoeing some peppers and keeping busy having as many friends over as possible. Summer for kids is a magical time.

I've also been trying to focus on some positive things with Eyob.
-yes he is still in the orphanage but he is being taking care of and being loved. I've heard great reports about this orphanage. I'm thankful that with all the drought and starvation that is happening in Ethiopia, my little guy is being fed.
-in the big scheme of things, a few months won't matter that much. Yes, it is torture right now but in the end it will be worth it.
-knowing that we won't make court somewhat relaxs me. There is nothing we can do about it now and I don't feel this pressure that I had before.
-I do have a referal. At the rate referals have been coming in I need to be greatful that I have Eyob.

Probably won't make court closure

2011-07-20T13:42:00.000-04:00

We found out today that the response we are waiting for from MOWA has not come and will not for a while. In light of this we are certain that we will not make court closure and am trying to wrap my head around that one. 2 more months of waiting. Not that it matters if we had made court closure. We more than likely would not have had the MOWA letter and would have been left waiting for that which would have come sometime in Aug. Then the courts would have had to sign off on that which they could not do because they are closed.
THOUGHT- Do you think MOWA will be on the ball for a while when courts reopen. Would we still be left waiting for the illusive letter from them or would it be ready for our court date??? HMMM. For those that would have court end of Sept., would they sail through? MOWA could not be behind at that point could they?

No news yet!!!

2011-07-15T10:42:00.000-04:00

For all those who are curious as to what happened on Tuesday, we are still actually in the same boat as you. CURIOUS!! We have received no news. I talked to Steve yesterday and he said the dreaded words " we'll contact you when we have received any info" . Honestly, wouldn't they know something by now. In the adoption world I have come to associate "no news" with " bad news".
The good news is that I have received 2 updates on Eyob through friends that were at the orphanage. It is bittersweet. I love to hear things about him but it makes me more homesick for him. He sounds like a wonderful little boy who loves to play and smile. I am thrilled to hear that because our referral pictures show a serious and sad boy.

Quick Update

2011-07-06T20:52:00.000-04:00

We found out today that we are still waiting for one more thing before they can give us a court date. The investigation was complete by the July 1st birth-mother court date and now they are waiting for MOWA to respond to an amended document which is supposed to be done by July 12th. They will then hopefully give us a court date. It would be a miracle if we get one before closure which is somewhere around the 7th or 8th of August. Pray that we can get a date before the closure.
Thanks also for all your encouraging comments and personal e-mails. I was in B.C. recently and able to have a visit with Claire and it meant so much to be able to talk about this with someone who understands. Thanks so much Claire. One day we'll be able to look back and know this was all worth it.

Another Delay

2011-06-17T11:41:00.001-04:00

We are facing another delay of at least 2 weeks. They were not able to do the birth-mother-court on Wed. because of lack of important information. The investigation is not complete and I don't know when it will be. This is all because important information was left out of the initial documents when our little guy went into care. It is now all coming out. I am not mad at the birth-mother. It's so hard for these women in 3rd world countries. I am upset for us and for our little guy. Each delay means more time for him in the orphanage and more heartache for us. With this last delay I can't see us getting a court date before their 2 month closure so we add on an extra 2 months of waiting. It goes to show you that honesty is the best policy. This could have all been avoided if the truth were told right away. We could be waiting for his visa right now, instead I feel like I am back to square one. The months waiting for a court date were harder than the months waiting for a referral. And this time waiting for another court date is twice as hard as waiting for our first court date.

Prayer requests:

That the investigation will be complete by July 1st - the next birth-mother-court date
That we can feel some peace about this all
for the safety and health of our little Eyob in orphanage care

*update: I asked my case worker about court before closure happens and he said they are trying to get that to happen. Another prayer request.:)

Today was the day!!

2011-06-09T09:12:00.000-04:00

Today was going to be our court date. Sigh!! Haven't heard anything new from MOT. They were hoping to have something for me on Mon. (3 days ago) but so far nothing. I don't know what to think about that. I would have thought that if they were positive things would turn out well, they would have booked another court date right away. I know that if people don't pass court in Ethiopia they are booked another court date right away. My case is so different than anyone elses that I don't know what to think. It's been a hard week sitting here knowing I should be somewhere else. I guess all I can do is wait until birth mother court is done (June 15th).
Thanks also for all your encouraging comments on the blog and some personal e-mails.

Court Date postponed

2011-06-03T13:36:00.000-04:00

2 days before our departure we were told that our court has been postponed. There were issues with the birth mother appearance and this needs to be resolved before they can have a court date with us. MOT is confident that this will be resolved . That doesn't help the fact that emotionally I am ready to go on Sunday and we are still unsure of what we can do with our tickets.
Timing it's possibly a blessing as this frees my husband up to plant his crops. I was told that when this gets resolved I won't have any worries about passing court so that next time I go I can go stress free. I was told that it will be resolved and that MOWA will have the letter ready for us when we come.
Don't know when that will be. Birth mother court is the 15th of June and we should get a new court date after that.
International adoption is not what I thought it would be.
Pray for us. I am taking this hard even though I know it will work out in the end. My kids are taking this hard.

5 sleeps

2011-05-31T12:31:00.000-04:00

Am I starting to panic?? YES. I feel like I am missing so much that I need to pack or do ahead of time. The weather is finally nice so my husband is out on the land - still to wet to plant but at least he can so some spraying. My mother-in-law has perked up a bit although we do know this is the end stage of her illness. I am confident that she will be fine until we get back. I am very nervous about court. Someone was there yesterday and passed but only 5 out of 30 families passed that day. It will hurt if we don't pass and don't get to see Eyob before we have to go home. Pray for a miracle. Pray for peace of mind. Thanks.

12 SLEEPS

2011-05-24T22:12:00.001-04:00

The countdown has started. Actually it started a while ago. I have a few things packed. A whole hockey bag full of girl clothes that were given to us for our adoption. I don't think our little guy would appreciate them. A few things are packed for us. Starting to make a schedule for our kids. They will just rotate through all their friends and cousins' houses. How fun is that. I can't believe how calm I've been these last couple of weeks when I should be panicking.

A couple of prayer requests:

-my poor hubby is having a horrible planting season. We are so far behind because of rains. He needs to get some stuff done before we go.

-my mother-in-law's health is deteriorating rapidly. It's going to be hard for us to go knowing that she is not well and that we could lose her. It would not be good if we were not here to comfort our kids or Barry's father. They should be celebrating their 50th anniversary this summer. How amazing is that. And I would love for her to meet Eyob.

I had been following a blog of a fellow Imagine parent who is in Ethiopia right now. He has been very detailed in his blogs and I love it because it has given me some good ideas of what to do. Anyway when he went to visit the orphanage where his little daughter is he was able to go into the toddler room and see the kids there. He went on to mention a little boy he played with and that little guy was my Eyob. All of a sudden the pictures on my walls were no longer just pictures. There is actually a little boy out there who loves to play with his train. I knew all along he was real but it has been 4 months since our first and only pictures of him. After a while it all feels surreal. Thank you Sid for playing with my little guy. In just 2 short weeks we'll be able to do that ourselves and I can't wait. Did I mention it's just 12 sleeps?

Tickets

2011-05-06T09:02:00.000-04:00

Well, we ordered our tickets this morning. It feels totally unbelievable that a month from now we will be in Ethiopia. Barry decided that no matter what the farm was doing he would be coming with me. He also has the good fortune to work with his amazing brother who will take over everything for a week. We feel so blessed to have this opportunity and at the same time I am nervous as to what will happen at court. It feels like things change with the wind in Ethiopia and they can change their rules at any point in time. Well I am off to do a million things that I need to do but can't seem to focus on.

June 9th

2011-05-03T15:18:00.000-04:00

I got the call. YAY!! Our court date is June 9th. I never did receive a court file # which somehow got lost or skipped or something. So now we have 5 weeks to plan and prepare. I will possibly be going on my own on this trip. Barry is a farmer and June is normally a crazy month for planting. He wants to come but I just don't know if it's possible. AGH!!!!

Oh the joy of Hydro!!

2011-05-01T15:08:00.000-04:00

I just decided that I would not be a good Amish housewife. I have always been fascinated by that whole culture. This week we had an amazing wind storm in Southern Ontario. Unfortunately it knocked out power all over the place. And since we live in the boonies we were one of the last ones to have power restored. 3 days without power!!!! And 7 people living in the house needing showers, flushing toilets, needing food etc. You get the idea. Luckily I have amazing in-laws who shared their generator with us (1/2 day for us and 1/2 day for them) and we were able to keep our food frozen and have running water (cold water- no hot water). My point here is not to complain but to say that after this I will be forever grateful that I am not Amish and that I can enjoy the comforts of our modern society. My kids will always remember this and also appreciate these comforts.

In the world of adoption there is no new news for us. Sorry that this is all so boring for you all.

So hard waiting....

2011-04-14T20:29:00.000-04:00

I really have no news to share with you. I am back to feeling the way I did pre-referral. Waiting for an e-mail that at least gives us a court #. I am tired, frustrated, weary and nervous. It's been more than 2 months since our referral. UGH!!! A couple of delays and we are still waiting. First, in January we needed to get our birth and marriage certificates notarized. These then had to be sent off to the government and we would get a new Statutory Declaration (SD). We then received our referral Feb 8th. Our SD did not get back from the gov. until Mar. 4th . That was then sent to Ethiopia and had to be translated first. (I don't think they file for a court date until that was all there). We then had a small glitch in one of our documents (luckily no new SD). That set us back a few weeks. When I talked to Imagine a few weeks ago they had said that they were just then filing our papers for a court date. UGH!!! So now we wait.
I'm not sure how long this will take. There have been some major delays in Ethiopia with them moving to do just 5 adoptions per day. It's rumoured that this could delay each adoption by a year. A whole year in the life of a child in an orphanage is a huge deal. Our little guy has already spent 6 months in an orphange. By the time we bring him home he will be out of the age range that we are approved of by the Ont. gov. ( in Ontario you have to be approved for a child that will be a certain age when you bring them home - not at referral). My biggest concern is the amount of time he will have spent in an orphanage when he could have been in our home with his family.
God has given me so much peace. Unfortunately this week I've started letting my worries choke out the peace. Pray that I can learn to lean on Him again. I hate feeling this way. I hate that this is all consuming. I hate these helpless feelings I have. I hate the wait.

More Patience Needed

2011-03-30T19:08:00.000-04:00

No news about a court date yet. Getting a little impatient. E-mailed Imagine and they said I should be getting my court file# within the next 2 weeks and then who knows how long of a wait after that for a court date. Hopefully I will know by the end of April. Court will more than likely not be until July. This would make my farmer hubby breath a little easier (not that he doesn't want to go as soon as possible). The first couple of weeks in July are more manageable on the farm.

We did manage to get away to Florida for a couple of weeks. Here are some pics from that:

Emotions since referral

2011-02-23T19:54:00.003-05:00

One would think my one and only emotion right now would be joy. It is my main emotion but other ones keep creeping into my daily life:

JOY- definitely happy,happy,happy about this referral

RELIEF- a huge wait has been lifted from our life in knowing that we have a referral and we can move forward.

PANIC- will I be a good mom to a child who has lost so much already? Will I be able to meet his emotional
needs? Am I to old to be patient with a toddler?

WORRY- I worry that something can still disrupt this adoption. I've been through something similar. We
were matched (did not have a referral) with a sweet little girl from Ghana and then everything fell apart. There are many changes happening with Imagine right now and I pray that they will be positive.

HURT- A little hurt by people who we are close to who have not congratulated us and refuse to mention anything about what is happening. I wonder what their reaction would be if we were pregnant?

NERVOUS- A little freaked about traveling to a country like Ethiopia. Excited but nervous. AHH!!!

SAD- Sad for all my blogger and Yahoo friends who are anxiously waiting for their referral. Sad for all that
my little guy has lost in order to get to this point.

IMPATIENT- I was fine for about a week and now I just want to know when court is. It will be at least
another couple of weeks before we find that out.

HONORED- That we were chosen to be this little guys parents. What an amazing privilege!!!

AMAZED- That God was in control and decided we needed a little boy. Amazed that we have been
matched with this little guy since the beginning of November. What took them so long??

I don't talk a whole lot about my family. I don't want them to feel like I invade their privacy.But I had to mention that my oldest who is now 16 1/2 just got baptized last Sunday. What an experience. He has matured so much over the years and is so much fun to be around. Not everyone can say that about their teen son. God has done great things in his life. He has blessed me immeasurably. Thank you God!!
I also need to mention that he just bought his first motorbike and car. Next picture you see of me will be with a full head of grey hair.

SURPRISE AND SHOCK

2011-02-08T19:47:00.000-05:00

YES!!!! We have our referral.

We have a referral of a handsome little guy.

I know what you are all thinking .Where's the girl you have been waiting for for 2 years?

We received a phone call this morning (of course I was out shopping and my husband got the call) that they have a 2 year old boy for us. We were shocked to say the least. I raced home and checked my homestudy update and sure enough the last line read "a child 0-42 months". How did we miss this?

It took me all of 1/2 a second to look at that picture and fall in love. Hauntingly big sad eyes. I was hooked.

It's not that we never wanted a boy. We have 2 boys and 2 girls right now. I love my boys to bits. We just thought that a girl in a third world country has less options when they grow older. And if I'm honest with myself I love dressing up little girls (pretty shallow-Right?).

I believe that if God wanted us to have that girl He would have made that happen. For some reason He wants this little dude in our home and we are thrilled.

It didn't take long for our kids to adjust to the idea. They are already in love with him.

Adoption update

2011-02-04T18:21:00.000-05:00

No, not a referral. I wish I would be sharing that with you. We did have the pleasure of more paperwork and more money deposited into our wonderful government. Apparently we needed to have our birth certificates and our marriage certificate certified once again. Up until recently, these documents did not expire when you do your update. But now somehow doing it once is not good enough. Okay so we did that. The problem then is that these documents don't have the same date as all our other updated documents from Sept. So we need to send them away to get a Statutory Declaration. A Satutory Declaration is a list of all documents that you need and they need to be notarized, legalized and authenticated by the Ethiopian Embassy here in Canada. No document can be dated after the Statutory Declaration that we did in Sept. so we need to do a new one. This does cost money (not a huge sum in light of everything we paid) and it takes time. Time, time, time, time!!!! The days and weeks seem to feel like they drag on. I have a strong feeling we are close but when you are told this will all take up to 3 weeks, that seems like forever. This is all supposed to prevent delays in courts in Ethiopia so I guess that is a good thing. We'll see if it works. I just wonder what's going to come out of the woodwork next.

"Today I will make a Difference"

2011-01-26T11:29:00.001-05:00

As I was cleaning out some neglected cupboards I found a poem that I have cherished. I will now post it by my bathroom mirror where I can see it as a reminder. This adoption ( along with a few other things) has been tough on me. I hope this encourages you as well today.

Today I Will Make a Difference
by Max Lucado

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It's OK to stumble... I will get up. It's OK to fail... I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.

Today I will make a difference.

Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failure. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on.

Blessings on you and your family today.

19 YEARS

2011-01-19T19:19:00.000-05:00

Yesterday -January 18th- we celebrated 19 years together.

What a ride it has been!!!

God has blessed me with such an amazing man!!

Thank you God!!!

New Member of the Family

2011-01-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

We welcomed a new member to our family this weekend. No we did not get a referal. Our daughter bought herself a baby hedgehog. She named her daisy. Our daughter Kelsey has been the most affected by this very slow adoption. She has a super tender heart and just wants her sister home. She has been begging for a hedgehog for some time and we thought it might be a good distraction for her. Daisy is still a little skitish around people but is expected to turn into a very fun pet. Oh what we do for our kids. I never in a million years expected a creature like this in our home. LOL.

Pre-Christmas B.C. visit

2011-01-03T14:40:00.000-05:00

This year we went to B.C. the week before Christmas. We went to celebrate Christmas with my family and also celebrate my parent's 50th anniversary which happens in January. These are pictures of 3 of my kids enjoying the mountains. They were real troopers on their day of skiing. They enjoyed every bit of that day. Zach (in the top picture) was in tears on his first run down but didn't want to leave the mountain at the end of the day.

-I am thankful that I have a patient husband who loves to teach the kids a varitey of things. (I am not a skiier)

-I am thankful that the kids could reconnect with their cousins

-I am thankful for the time spent with my parents and siblings

-I am thankful for the beauty that B.C. has to offer ( God has given us so many beautiful things to enjoy)

-I am thankful that we had this time together as a family

NOW back to reality and bring on the referral.

2010-12-13T20:49:00.000-05:00

2 YEARS

Wednesday it will be 2 long years since our file arrived in Ghana. It has since been switched to Ethiopia. I was so desperately hoping for a referal by Christmas. We are so close. We have been close for a long time now. It's hard being so close. It should make sense that it's easier but it isn't. It was easier when there were no expectations. November saw 18 ( yes 18) referals and Dec has seen a few. The expectations built with each referal. There has got to be a little 3 year old angel waiting for a family. Hopefully I will soon have good news for you.

One Year Ago

2010-11-29T14:28:00.000-05:00

One year ago we were contemplating which direction we should take in this whole adoption journey. Yes we voted to keep Imagine going but we were unsure if we were going to be part of it. We had been checking into local adoptions and had started the process but my heart kept tugging me towards international. To be honest if we had the money we would have dropped Imagine and started up with a different agency that does South Africa or possibly the waiting children from China. But that option was not there. It was only a couple of days before the Dec 17th (I think that's the right date) deadline that we followed our hearts and signed on with Imagine. They told us at that point it would be a year to a year and a half until we received our referral. Well, we are almost at a year and still no referral. It has been an incredibly hard year with a few ups and many downs in this adoption journey. I am so glad we are at this point and have toughed it out. Sometimes each day feels like a week and each week a month, but here we are. We are a year closer - praise the Lord.

Also a year ago my dear mother-in-law whose health has not been great the last few years got very sick. We wondered if this was the beggining of the end and celebrated Christmas like it might be our last. But, she rallied and is still with us in better health than she was this time last year. I would love for her to meet our little one from Ethiopia because she has been so supportive. I know she would have no problem loving this one like all her other grandchildren.

As for referrals, there has been an amazing 12 so far this month and we are all celebrating. There have been many baby referrals and many older children referrals. We are right in the middle of that. You would think there would be a few 3 year olds in this new orphanage. We will hold out and wait for the daughter that God has in store for us.

The following pictures are my families attempts at making a Christmas card. Combine 6 people, a crazy dog and a camera that has a 2 second timer on it and you have the makings of a very stressful 1/2 hour. Try and press a button and run to your place in 2 seconds. Well my daughter rachel managed that and this is what we came up with. LOL

Impatience

2010-11-22T17:12:00.000-05:00

I can feel my impatience with the adoption growing again. It's like the waves of sea for me. I'm okay (never great) for days and sometimes weeks and then it builds and builds.Soon I'm going to crash and have a heart to heart talk with God and I will once again realize it's all in His hands and the timing will be perfect. But I am human and I am getting frustrated. I read many adoption blogs from the states and I really do appreciate them but they can also make me sad. I read about families that adopt a child almost every year. Unheard of in Canada. December it will be two years since our file was sent off. (Yes I know my Lilypie says that it has been longer. I set her from when we started the journey) I know that they have many matched children and families. What, oh what, could take so long. Ya, Ya, I know - paperwork. Paperwork has become a swear word in my life. Lot's of people have also been asking about it lately and that is a two-edged sword for me. I'm happy that they are still thinking about us and upset that I have no answers. But, if you are reading this please don't stop asking. Most people just assume that we have given up and for some reason that makes me a little mad. Don't worry about me. I am not losing it. I just needed to vent. Most people I know have no idea what this is like. A close freind actually thought I already had a referal.(I'm sure I would have shouted it from the rooftops if we had).They have no idea no matter how much I explain to them. Well, thanks for listening.

Roller Coaster Ride

2010-11-12T09:12:00.000-05:00

I have found that in this world of international adoption many feelings can surface in any given day. A lot of those actually have to do with others that are going through this same experience. I have been blessed with new relationships through this adoption. Yes, we just connect via blogs or the Yahoo page, but, nontheless we have formed a bond. We rejoice with each other when there is good news. We cry with each other when there is unexpected sad news. We share our frustrations when there is no news. We pass along valuable information to each other - anything that will make this journey smoother. We hope with each other. Yesterday I heard very exciting news on the Yahoo board and within an hour heard what could be sad news through a blog. To those of you that have had unsettling things happen with their adoption, know that I will be praying for you. To all of you out their who have posted encouragements on my blog, thank you and thank you. It makes me feel less lonely in this world of adoption. I consider you my friends if only for this season because without you I could not get through this. But my greatest friend is my heavenly Father. He is reminding me daily that He loves me and He loves my family and He loves this precious girl waiting for us in Ethiopia. Deuteronomy 10:18 describes God as one who executes justice for the orphan and the widow. We have a mighty God who is on our side.

I'm also thankful for my amazing family. God has filled my cup and it is good.

Orphans in Ghana

2010-10-24T20:07:00.001-04:00

As most of you know, we originally were going to adopt from Ghana. That turned into a huge political struggle on both sides of the continent. Ghana was going through social reform and thought it best to close down a lot of their orphanages. The orphanage that Imagine was working with was closed down because of alleged trafficking charges. These charges were eventually dropped but the damage was done. The man behind all these changes and these charges is the director of Social Welfare. He went throughout the country closing down orphanages and sending children back to the villages they came from or back to family, no matter how distant. Often these children were sent back into extreme poverty and were not received well by family members. They were another mouth to feed. ( How sad to go back to family who does not want you) I heard of two infants dieing within months of going back to their village. These were children that were matched with waiting families in Canada. But because of lack of interest of the Canadian government and the stubbornness of the director of social welfare these children would not live long. The director of Social Welfare has his own orphanage that is run by him. This orphanage was obviously not shut down but should have been. An investigative reporter has gone in undercover and taken some disturbing footage of life in the Osu Children's Home. It reminds me of the news stories of the homes in Romania. It's a 6 part series and you can view this on YOUTUBE. Search for Osu children's home. But please don't allow your children to watch these.
I must add that there were many loving orphanages that were shut down by the Director. I don't really know everything that happened there to close down the Ghana adoption program. I know that it was probably not going to happen even if there were no trafficking charges. The Canadian High Commission in Ghana frowns upon international adoption. I guess they figure that it is better for these children to languish in orphanages than find a forever family.
As I watch these short videos I am once again angry. Angry that our government is to lazy to work out a simple adoption program with another country (Ghana would not oppose adoptions to Canada). Angry that children are living this horrible nightmare when we would have gladly adopted one or two. Angry that the citizens of this world are more concerned with their next GREAT TOY than they are for orphans. Even most christians I know could not possibly support an oprhan because they are to busy thinking of themselves. I am angry that I had to give up adopting a beautiful girl named Mariam ( she would have been with us for over a year already). Angry that international adoptions have to be so complicated in this free country of Canada. Angry that there are many childless couples longing for one of these children. Angry that families in the States could complete 3 adoptions in the time it will take me to complete one. Angry that it seems like there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of this
.
I can however pray.
Pray that the hearts of our government will be changed.
Pray that adoptions in Ghana will be available
Pray that the hearts of people everywhere will be turned to the plight of the orphans.
Pray that the church takes serious the command to take care of orphans.

Sunday Nov. 7th is Orphan Sunday. Please if you are not already doing something look into what you can do for an orphan. There are many organizations that you can support. Check out some of my favorite links in the top corner. Better yet, think seriously of adoption.

Osu Children's Home in Ghana

Still alive.

2010-10-22T13:55:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am still alive. I survived (just barely) my birthday week. I threw in a couple of Thanksgiving family gatherings just to make sure I didn't get too bored. Add on cross country meet, soccer tournament,2 ortho appointments,2 dentist appointments, and a full day at the hospital with my dear mother-in-law in the weeks following (and absolutely no movement on the adoption scene) and I'm now ready to take a deep breath and chill for a while. I really don't have anything exciting to post but thought I should let everyone know that absolutley nothing is happening with referals. It's been at least 6 weeks since the last one and even then it was only one in the month of Sept. How can this possibly take so long? I'm at a loss. I know there are people who have been waiting longer than me that are just hurting right now. There are kids that have been separated from everything they know that are confused and in pain and need a stable home. I also do know that God loves them and I trust that He is control. I am excited for some dear people who have been receiving visas after a very long wait. Enjoy those little ones.
The weekend is almost upon me and I actually enjoy the reprieve from any expectations about this adoption. I know that any phone calls can not be about the adoption. I look forward to the end of one dissapointing week and the start of a week filled with expectations. I enjoy having my kids home to keep me busy and keep my mind off the wait. My dear farmer husband is ours for the whole day of Sunday. Thank you God for weekends.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING......

2010-10-01T11:16:00.000-04:00

That's the comment I get every year at this time. The first week of Oct. is crazy for me. Three of my kids have their birthdays. Kelsey is on the 4th and Kyle and Zach are on the 7th. To top it off I also have a nephew's birthday on the 7th and my father-in-law's is on the 5th. And let us not forget Thanksgiving which gets thrown in there somewhere. What was I thinking??? Well if you go back 9 months it's our anniversay. So that would be a reasonable explanation. But the real explanation is 2 miscarrages. I never intended on having 3 Oct. babies but I guess God had other plans. I just pray that God does not plan on our Ethiopian child to have a birthday the same time. So pray that I remain sane over the nezt week.

No new adoption news. There was only 1 referal for the month of Sept. How discouraging. Hopefully the new orphanage will have some children ready with their documents soon.

Homestudy approved

2010-09-20T13:36:00.000-04:00

We received word today that our homestudy has finally been approved. This was our change of country and 2 year homestudy update. I am a little excited about that although still discouraged about the lack of referals lately. So far there has been one this month. People around me are getting antsy for referal news from us. I don't know what to tell them. It's on my mind constantly. Again it could happen tomorrow or it could be a few more months. Most of us waiting feel like we are constantly in our 9th month of pregnancy. I know God knows the day and already knows our special girl and I take comfort in that. I just wish he would send me a little note letting me know. The physical pain of natural birth is nothing compared to the heartache if international adoption. People are probably wondering if that's the case then why do it? I would say that God has called us for this and He does not give us anything more than we can handle. Continue to pray for us and for an extra measure of patience.

Wait

2010-09-07T14:11:00.000-04:00

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:14

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope" Psalm 130:5

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

Lately I started thinking that in life we spend a lot of time waiting. We are all waiting for different things and it is never easy. Sometimes it's waiting for something fun and other times it's waiting for an awful thing that will happen. While we wait, what do we focus on? More often than not, we focus on the event and what it will be like and how it will impact our life. We get so consumed by it that we can't think about anything else.
I wondered what the bible had to say about waiting. These are 3 of the 10 verses that speak about waiting.Wouldn't you know that in all the verses we are waiting for God.
They talk about being blessed while we wait.
They talk about what to do while we wait (read his word and put our hope in it).
It tells us how to be while we wait - be strong(Psalm 27:14) and patient (Psalm 40:1)
It talks about gifts we receive from him while we wait. Acts 1:4 - the Holy Spirit
Romans 8:23 our adoption into His family
It tells us who we are waiting for. -His Son- 1 Thessalonians 1:10

Waiting is part of life and sometimes it downright stinks. After reading these verses I am trying to adjust my mindset. When I think of our adoption I remind myself that in life I am waiting for God. I am trying to "be strong and take heart". I am trying to carve out more time to dig into his word.

P.S. All of you waiting for your visas. You are in my prayers daily. It's been a long wait for you.

Still Waiting

2010-09-03T13:43:00.000-04:00

We still have not received ministry approval. They had some questions this week about our "foster" son that is living with us. This is new from 2 years ago when we first received approval. Our adoption practitioner figured we would receive approval next week. I'm not sure if I'll breath easier then or be more uptight.
The good news is that Imagine just signed on with a new orphanage with exclusive rights. That means the children from that orphanage will be only referred to Imagine parents. Of course it could take a while for the paper work to be finished for these children.

For Anna

2010-08-31T13:17:00.001-04:00

This post is for Anna. I read your blog and don't see a place to respond. I've wanted to respond many times but don't know how. This is for the Anna that has a referal for a little girl from Ethiopia and is waiting for her visa. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family. It seems like you have had an extra long wait. Also wanted to let you know that your blog has been an inspiriation. It has gotten me through some tough days of waiting for our referal. We are both at the waiting stages now. I feel like I am nearing the end of my wait for a referal and you are nearing the end of your wait for your precious little girl. You will be in my prayers and thoughts while we both wait.

Dreamworld and an exciting week.

2010-08-24T20:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I think that i was possibly living in a dreamworld in my last post. While I still think things are moving, I might not be as close as I'd like to be.
BUT oh such delicious news from the Yahoo board. 3 sibling referrals and one single referral in a weeks time. How exciting for these dear families. Some have been waiting for a sibling referral for 2 1/2 years.
This is also good news for everyone else. It means that they are getting caught up in Ethiopia with all the extra paper work that was required. I imagine they will now get it all when the child is relinquished. So, all in all this is great news for everyone. Every referral is a referral closer to our own.
God always has perfect timing and I'm sure He has that in mind for this as well. It's not always easy to wait for God's timing, but I find that things always work out for the best. There have been many times in life when I thought that I had it all figured out and then it turns out totally different and always much better than I envisioned.
We had a great sermon the other week. One that I felt I could get definite answers from. 99% of the time I'm positive that we are doing God's will in adopting a child. I could feel it in my inmost being. BUT through the bankruptcy of Imagine, the change of country and things people have said I have had the odd struggle. It was possibly more like maybe we should be adopting locally instead of internationally. Anyway our pastor had a sermon on how to figure out if it's God's will or if it's your own. Here are
10 Questions to ask when facing a decision or a change of direction:

Have you prayed about it?
Is it consistent with the Word of God?
Can I do it and be a positive christian witness?
Will the Lord be glorified?
Am I acting responsibly?
Is it reasonable?
Does a reasonable opportunity exist?
Are unbiased, spiritually sensitive associates in agreement?
Do I have a sanctified (God given) desire?
Do I have a God given peace about it?

Well I could honestly say yes to all the above and now I can wait in perfect peace. Pray for my family as we wait.

Please Phone, RING

2010-08-18T11:03:00.000-04:00

How does one even begin to describe this crazy journey I'm on? I feel like a pop can that's been shaken and shaken. One minute I'm going to burst with joy that we are doing this and the next moment I'm going to burst with frustration that it has taken this long.
Today my poor husband does not know what to do with me. I can't even sit and read ( which is my favorite thing to do). He's trying to still the excitement that is building in me. We've had some corrispondance with the agency about some missing papers. From the e-mails I sense an urgency to get these all in to the ministry. From what I was told at the end of June, it would take the ministry 3-4 months to look at my update (which consisted of a change of country and age chang). I was told that if there was a match, they would expedite it. It has only been there about 6-7 weeks. I now am almost positive that there is a match for us but the ministry approval has to be completed.
RING PHONE RING
Everything needed was e-mailed to the ministry yesterday. What are the chances that they will get to it today?
AHHH. The phone just rang. A soliciter. I have some not so nice thoughts for them right now.
Hopefully my next post for you will have some good news but for now I must go and find something to occupy my time.

In the Mean Time....

2010-07-20T21:14:00.000-04:00

Well life does go on as we wait. We are a farming family and life gets pretty busy around here. My youngest two ages 9 and 11 are hoeing a field of peppers. My other daughter Rachel (age 14) is picking cucumbers. That is probably one of the worst farming jobs I've come across. You sit on a slow moving machine with your back bent down to pick the cucmbers. She's a tropper - she rarely complains. My oldest (age 15) has an air conditioned job at the local grocery store stocking shelves. He does get out to help on the farm his days off. Our foster son Ben (age 17) has a job at the local Provincial Park. And my job is to hoe with the youngest two and be a taxi driver for everyone else. At this time of year Barry is usually busy on the farm from morning till night. Sometimes it's a crazy life but most of the time it's a good life. It's good to see the kids devolping a strong work ethic. They appreciate the extra money they make and are pretty good at saving it ( if it was mom's money they would be quick to spend it). They still have lots of time to play with friends and swim in the pool or lake. It's evenings like this after a busy day of work and having fun that I realize how blessed we are. Blessed to be able to work as a family and play as a family. And I hope that by this time next year we will have our sweet daughter from Ethiopia to join in all this.

Update on adoption - July has seen 5 referals so far. Pretty exciting seeing as June had none and May had one. This new batch of referals will have to go to Ethiopia twice. Once for court and again to pick up their child. Unfortunately court closes in Ethiopia for most of August and and Sept. One referal has their court date set for Oct. which seems to be a long wait. We are still hoping for a referal before this year is done.

Referals begin again

2010-07-09T19:06:00.000-04:00

After a couple of months of no referals (due to the change in paperwork on the Ethiopian end) , there have been a couple this week. The best part is that they have been older girl referals. When I say older, I mean maybe 1 1/2 to 3 yrs of age. For us this means they are getting closer to our number. There are about 5 couples ahead of us asking for kids in that age range and I would fully expect them to get a referal before us. Having said that, nothing can happen for us until our update has been approved and is back from the Ministry. It has only been there one week, but it feels like months already.
So why am I starting to jump every time the phone rings. Totally unrealistic. I remember waiting for my referal from Ghana. I knew that my time was close because we were one of the first ones to sign up with that program and I knew referals were coming in. For months the phone had me in this prison that I set up for myself. Huge dissapointment after each false call. Well the call never came for Ghana because of problems with that program and now I am starting this crazy obsession all over again.
My heart goes out to a lot of my friends from the Yahoo group. They have been so close for so long. Something has got to happen for them soon.
Hopefully these referals are the start of something stable and steady.
Thanks for listening to the rambles of a frustrated, obsessed , crazy , soon to adopt parent.

Homestudy ready to go to Ministry

2010-06-29T19:35:00.000-04:00

It feels like forever but our "change of country" package is ready to go to the Ministry. It was worse the second time around trying to get everything together. Maybe it's because the wait has been so long and we've gone through so much. Some days it's hard to get motivated to jump through all these hoops AGAIN. Now I know that this is only our second update. Some people are on their third update and no child. UGH.!! People are definitely getting very restless again. I don't blame them. It's been almost 2 months without a referal. and this is because of new paperwork requirements from Ethiopia. It will take a while to get all that straightened out and for referals to start again. BUT the wait is torture. We are still considerably far down the list but are asking for an older child so that might make it quicker for us. Well for now we are done jumping through these crazy hoops and all we have to do is WAIT. So I guess that's not so bad.
People are finally returning from picking up their kids in Ethiopia. A few had tours of the orphanage where some of our kids would come from and their's lots of kids in the orphanages waiting for their forever families. So here we sit waiting and there they sit waiting.

GRADE 8 GRAD

On a happier note. My amazingly beautiful 14 yr old daughter Rachel had her grade 8 graduation ceremonies last night. Here is a few pics of her. Her older cousin did her hair.

In Search of Contentment

2010-06-14T11:00:00.000-04:00

I know what some people might be thinking at a title like that - "What! She's a christian. She's supposed to be content in all circumstances". Believe me, I know that this is how it should be. And that is why I am in search of this. I am a person who likes to be "in control" of things around me. Struggled with it most of my life and have won many battles BUT lately this adoption thing has brought me down. I want to control whats happening but it is totally out of my hands. So time to dig deep in the bible and study books and be reminded that GOD is in control.

Read an interesting prescription for contentment from a missionary who worked in the most primitive conditions for more than 50 years:

Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather
Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
Never compare your lot with another's.
Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise
Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.

Psalm 16:5 says "Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure.

God has already 'assigned me my portion' and God is good and therefore what He gives me is good.

Yes it has been hard waiting for this precious child to be chosen for us but I have to remember 2 truths:

God cares for this child that is already born and waiting for a family
God cares for my family who is anxious to have this child home.

I Timothy 6;15 reminds me that God is the controller of all things.

The adoption news has not been that great lately. There is still the band on of relinquished kids in certain areas of Ethiopia ( this is affecting some of the orphanages that Imagine works with). They are also requiring more documentation before kids can be referred. This is great for the safety of the kids, but has caused much anxiety in the parents waiting for referals. There was one referal in all of May for the Imagine parents. There is hints that this will be resolved soon. Pray for us as we continue to "hurry and wait".

Precious Lives

2010-06-07T11:45:00.001-04:00

Each Child :

-has a story

-feels the pain of loss

-longs for comfort

-hopes for a future

-cries out for relief

NEEDS YOU

http://www.breadfromheavenoutreachint.shutterfly.com/

Link for Ghana orphanage

2010-06-01T10:36:00.000-04:00

some people are having a hard time finding the link I referred to in my previous post so here it is:

http://www.breadfromheavenoutreachint.shutterfly.com/

Would you sponser a child?

2010-05-31T20:30:00.000-04:00

I know lots of people sponsor kids through various organizations. Each organization has its own program and the ultimate goal is to make life better for children in third world countries.We can't even imagine what come of these kids go through. When I think of my own children being in situations such as those of kids in these countries, it makes me ache with pain. My children will always have:

-parents to hug and kiss them
-food for their bellies
-access to medicine
-the opportunity for an education
-toys to play with

-a safe home to grow up in

-shelter in times of storms

I can't even think what life would be like for my kids if they did not have these basic things. If you do not support a child in need please think about doing so. Yes there is a cost BUT the cost for you not doing so is greater. The blessings you receive always outweigh the costs. The blessings these kids receive are out of this world.

In Ghana 45% of the people live on less than $1 a day

60% of children are involved in child labor or child slavery

If you are interested in helping these kids, please click on the link in the side column.

$35 a month will help one of these kids.

They will be in the safety of a caring orphanage with access to all their needs.

They will be fed physically and spiritually.

You will have the opportunity to correspond with your child through e-mail and the occasional phone call-I don't know of any other organization to offer that.

Please check out this site and you will be touched by these brave kids.

My son who is 15 sponsors a boy who is also 15. Sometimes this is 2/3 of his weekly paycheck.

These kids pictured here are only a few of the children.

Expect the Unexpected

2010-04-27T14:25:00.001-04:00

That is what our pastor talked about in church on Sunday and that is how I've tried to live life for a few years now. Not that I have always succesfully been able to do that. God has so blessed my life in that I can't even begin to thank Him.

Last year we moved into a home that was about twice the size as our other home. We got everyone settled giving Kelsey the largest room knowing she would be sharing with our future adoptive daughter. Our oldest son claimed the bedroom in the basement. It was a fairly large room. We were so happy with this house because it meant no major renovations. UNTIL - our son said that his bedroom was to large and could we build a wall and cut it in half? How many kids out there complain that their bedroom is to large? He used a logical argument saying that it would be a spare bedroom when we have guests (my parents live in B.C.). Also Barry and I have recently had the nudging from God to take in an older child , whether through the CAS or just someone we know. However we did think we would do that until after our odoption was settled.

Within a month of this room being completed God literally dropped an oportunity into our laps. We talked about it and prayed about it. How would this boys history affect our kids? We decided to give it "a try". But God told us He didn't want us "to try" he wanted us to commit. We are so blessed to have this almost 17 yr old in our home. He has fit in with our kids so well. We are completely enjoying his presence in our home.

God is Amazing!!

Adoption update - nothing new and exciting to report. Referals are still trickling in. We started out # 87 on the wait list and are now # 64. We are in the process of updating our dossier since it runs out this summer and we don't think we will get a referal before then. Things have seemed positive and steady lately and we thank God for that as well.

March update

2010-04-07T19:28:00.000-04:00

The latest from Ethiopia is the requirement for 2 trips to Ethiopia. As you can imagine that was a blow to a lot of families. Financially most families are having a tough time with the added cost of this adoption ( pulling Imagine out of bankruptcy). To have this added on top of everything else will be hard. It was not welcome news in our household. The added $4,000 is going to be tough but God will see us through. We will need to meet with our child before their court date. The reason for this is that there has been a history of adoptive parents not wanting their children when they come to take them home. These children are then left in limbo because in ethiopia once a child is adopted it is final. It is a very sad thing for these kids to be abandoned once again. I'm not sure what the reason is for these adoptive parents to do this. Possibly they had been given wrong info on their child and only found out when they were in ethiopia picking them up.

On a postive side there were 7 referals in March. That brings our family to the 68th spot on the list. It's a slow go but at least we keep moving up. Hopefully we will know who our daughter is before the year is over.

Florida

2010-03-23T15:03:00.000-04:00

Kids on a walk in the Everglades

Canoeing with the alligators

Zach on the beach

Kyle searching for snakes

These are just a few pictures from our trip to Florida. It was so good to get away for a couple of weeks and just focus on our family. I am thankful that I have such an awesome family and enjoyed my kids without any other distractions.

As for adoption news there is nothing amazing to report. There have been a few referals trickling in. A major slow down in referals. Ethiopia has been doing some investigating into relinqueshed children. We are told that there is nothing to worry about and this sort of thing happens regularly. It just slows things down on our end.

URGENT NEED

2010-03-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

I support a ministry named Bread from Heaven. They support orphanages in various countries. An urgent need has come to our attention in the country of Kenya. A couple there has been running an orphanage for a number of years. His name is Solomon. They had 3 of their own children. 2 of their children passed away last year from an illness. Today Solomon also passed away. It is a heartbreaking story. His wife and remaining child are left to deal with the loss and continue to take care of the orphans. If you are touched by this and want to send support to this widow please click on my link on the right hand of the screen. If you can't help financially, please pray for Nancy and her heartbreaking situation. We are blessed with so much here in Canada. I can't even imagine going through this much pain. Thank you for praying and considering this situation.

Exodus 22:22-24

2010-02-28T20:42:00.000-05:00

A few articles for your "reading pleasure".

http://news.therecord.com/News/Local/article/677204

http://www.wnd.com/indez.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=126204

I titled my post today with this reference because of what it says in response to the first article. In Exodus 22:22-24 it states:

"Do not take advantage of a widow or orphan.
If you do and they cry out to me,
I will certainly hear their cry.
My anger will be aroused........

The first article is a small update about the collapse of the Imagine adoption agency and gives a small insight into what happened before the bankruptcy. In addition to this I found out that children in the transition home before the collapse were lucky if they were fed twice a day. I would like to name the person(s) responsible for this but I know that God will take care of these people. I do not understand how greed can take a hold of a person to the extent that you would allow innocent children to suffer. It breaks my heart to know that there are thousands if not millions of other people like this out in the world.
The second article is one that makes my blood boil and is in reference to the Haitian orphans.It is titled -
"Haiti's children held hostage by UNICEF's agenda". I also know that God will take care of those responsible , but the person in me just weeps to think that millions of children will continue to suffer if we do not do something about this. I do know one thing we can all do -PRAY. Prayer is a mighty weapon and one that we need to continue to use.

February Slump

2010-02-24T19:21:00.000-05:00

Hey everyone. Yup, you read right, I'm in a major slump and have not written anything for a while. Feb. has seemed like a long month in the adoption world and in my personal world. There have been only a couple of referals but lots of successful court dates. We have been trying to get our dossier updated which seems to be going very slowly. I was much more on top of things the first time around. We should be able to send any remainder items this week and then off to the provincial gov. for approval. Pray that the dossier will have a quick approval.
I was reading someone's blog this week and I have come to respect this couple tremendously and I hope she doesn't mind me sharing a poem that she had on her blog. It really said everything that had been in my thoughts these last 2 years.

"I've had my share of excuses in the past...

Too busy

Not enough money

Not enough time

Too young

Too old

Can't afford it

Already have 4 children

Not sure if it's God's will

Not sure

Can't afford it

What will others say

What will others think

People will think we are crazy

What if they are right?

Can't afford it

What if it's hard on our other kids?

It's not the right time

Not sure if I would be good at it.

House is too small.

Can't afford it.

Not sure if I want to start all over again

What would we drive?

What if it's too much work?

What if it's too hard?

Can't afford it.

Yet for every excuse God has the answer-

HIM.

It's all about Him-period.

He must increase,

but I must decrease.

John 3:30

We limit God with our excuses.

We limit God with our fears.

We limit God by putting Him inside a box-

A box we have designed on our own.

But by doing this we are actually robbing

ourselves-

robbing ourselves of the blessings,

Robbing ourselves of true joy

Robbing ourselves of truly living.

Because you see when we take 'us' out of the

picture

Our worries,

Our fears,

Our excuses,

And we put God in the center of our lives

The possibilities are endless.

He has the way...

He IS the way...

And all you have to do is

stop making excuses and take that first step.

Stop listening to the world.

Stop being afraid of the what ifs-

And listen to the one who knows.

The one who has the answers.

The one who really matters.

The truth is

we don't have to be perfect

because He is.

We don't have to have all of the answers

because He already does.

We don't have to know how

because He will show us.

Each day you wait

is a day that they wait too...

The cost of your excuse is a lot higher that the

cost of an adoption

because look at what it's costing them.

Stop making excuses.

They are waiting

And so is He...

To show you the way."

The only regret I've had in this whole adoption process is that we did not start sooner. If you've ever had a feeling that adoption is for you then start now. You will never regret it. There is a child out there waiting for you.

Dosier back from Ghana

2010-02-02T19:39:00.000-05:00

Well we finally got our dosier back from Ghana. Now we have the privillege of redoing a bunch of the paperwork. Isn't International adoption fun???? At least it feels like a step in the right direction. Once we have our dosier in Ethiopia I will be anxiously waiting for a referal. Referals have still been trickling in at Imagine and it's exciting to hear all the stories. I get tears in my eyes ever time I hear about them knowing that life will change for these precious little ones and for the ones receiving them. We started at #87 and I think we are probably down to about # 80. At this rate we hope to receive a referal before 2010 ends. On a different note, I love all the well meaning people asking me if I'll go and get a child from Haiti. The thought is nice except for the fact that we are well under way with our ethiopian adoption and would not jepordize that. And it is not as easy as we would like to get the orphans out of Haiti. I pray that someday soon there will be a smooth process for all the children in Haiti. Life should not be this difficult for these kids. On a humerous note, my 9 year old son thought of a good way to raise money to support our little girl in Ghana that we were going to adopt. He thought I should go on "Are you smarter than a fifth grader" and win tons of money and donate it all to Mariam. I'm afraid that I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader. His heart is definitley in the right spot.

Can I be In Charge

2010-01-27T19:06:00.002-05:00

I watch the news and I see pictures of Hatian children alone, scared, hurt, etc. I see the little ones without parents. Other times I watch pictures of kids starving in African countries. I see kids abandoned in orphanages in Romania (the problem has not gone away). This week I heard that unicef is calling Haiti to put a hold on adoptions. Are they in charge? This just breaks my heart. The country was full of orphans before the earthquake. Why can we not get them homes? I have a home.By all acounts I have jumped through all the hoops required of me to adopt internationally. I have taken courses. I have had police checks (yes even an interpol police check). I have talked to social workers. I have a big house with 6 bedrooms. I have food we regularly throw out because it goes bad before we can eat it. I have time-I am a stay at home mom. If these kids are safe with anyone it would be me. I would love to bring over a few Haitian children. It would not be a hardship for us. Yes it would be an adjustment. I'm not even talking about the recently orphaned kids. I'm talking about the ones that have been in the orphanages for a while and have no one. I'm not the only one willing to do this. There are thousands of families who could take in kids in a flash. But no. We are not in charhe. Why can't I be in charge? But instead it's groups like UNICEF that have the voice. Keep the kids in Haiti they say. There might be a long lost relative that will take them. Never mind the fact that it could take years to find this person and then they might not even want the child. Their future is in Haiti they say. Wow, what an awesome future for these kids. This is their country and their culture they say. Well I SAY: What about love? What about stability? What about food? What about health? What about dreams? What about being tucked into bed at night by a mommy who is yours (even though she is not the same color)? Who will dry their tears? Who will listen to them? Will UNICEF be able to do this for all these kids? Will they look them in the eye and tell them " you will need to stay in this country that is destroyed and you will live out your remaining childhood in an orphanage. You will then need to go out into this destroyed country without an education and try and survive for the rest of your life". Can I be in charge? I do not understand their reasoning. I only understand that these kids need homes like ours. They need hugs. They need smiles. They need us. Why can't I be in control?????

Great week.

2010-01-14T14:18:00.003-05:00

This is one of those weeks that I have been waiting for . The last few months have been filled with bad news. The first bit of good news came from my mother-in-law. She had a few tests back in Dec. and we were all expecting bad news but instead it was great news. I credit God totally for this miracle. Then (a little more minor) my husband found a great deal on a truck and him and I are off to Georigia next week to pick it up. The great thing is it's our 18th anniversary and we get a trip out of this. Then the list for waiting parents came out and we are #87. Amazing. I thought we'd at least be #120 or something. Maybe this whole thing will not take as long as I thought. I hope the positive news keeps coming. I am really enjoying this feeling.
P.S.-Just heard of another referral today!!!!!!

Another Referal

2010-01-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

Things are moving again. There were 4 referrals before Christmas and I just heard of another one today. This excites me more than words can say. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for us. I think we are only about 7 months behind this couple and for the first time I feel optimistic that this will not take as long as I thought. I try not to feel to much optimism for fear of getting burned. I still think of our little Mariam and wonder what she is doing. I wonder if she has enough food to eat. I wonder if her mother loves her like a mother should. I dare not tell my kids of my optimism . They have been crushed by the whole Ghana thing. Our little Zachary still prays about the adotion every night. We don't talk about it much anymore. And I also found out that today is the Ethiopian Christmas. How exciting that we can celebrate twice. I might even let the kids stay home from school when our little one joins the family.

New years Resolution

2010-01-06T18:57:00.000-05:00

I am so thankful as I start a New Year. Thankful that I have an amazing husband and 4 wonderful kids. Thankful that we have a roof over our heads and a great church. Thankful that I have so many amazing friends. Thankful that God has brought me on this adoption journey. Yes it has been incredibly painful but it has made me more determined as well. I believe that God has a special someone out there for us. This year is starting out with hope. I can leave 2009 behind and trust in God. I have made two resolutions this year. The big one is to get more in tune with God. And the second one is to get physically fit. My 4 kids are in school and we will not be adopting this year so this is the perfect time.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2009-12-29T11:37:00.000-05:00

I can't believe Christmas is done for another year. I survived. I hosted 2 days of family gatherings and ended up sick the next day , but I survived. I've been encouraged by the news on the Ethiopian Yahoo site. There were 4 referrals already in Dec. That's exciting considering they were only going to start referrals in March. The pictures and posts on this yahoo site are so encouraging. Unfortunately the Ghana yahoo site did not have very many encouraging posts. We are so looking forward to 2010 and can't wait to see what God has in store for us. Blessings on you all as you head into a New Year.

Ethiopia Bound

2009-12-17T14:30:00.000-05:00

Yes, you read it right. After much soul searching, tears of frustration and investigating local adoptions, we have decided to stick with Imagine and transfer our file to Ethiopia. This week has been a brutally hard week for me. My heart is still in Ghana with Mariam, but we know that it is not possible to adopt her. We are going to try to set up some sort of sponsership so that her and her mom have food. And in the end, if she can stay with her mom we will be happy. that is how it should be.We then contemplated local but that also has it's pitfalls. Our local C.A.S. has 4 kids available and they are sibling sets. I don't think it's a quick process either. At the end of the day it came down to common sense and our initial desire to adopt internationally. We have already put thousands into this. What is one more year of waiting? As a mother of 4 I have never had the experience of waiting years for a baby. I am now experiencing a small part of that. I can now relax having made the desicion. There will be some paper work to redo. I can then carry on with life knowing that we will probably not receive a referal for at least a year.
Sometimes you don't see the good in something right away. Recently I have possibly seen why God wanted this to wait a while. My mother in law is seriously ill and will need support and help for a while. This now frees me up to be that support for her. She lives next door to us and is very dear to us.
I am confident in my heart that God is good. I have been in pain emotionally lately but have felt a reassurance that God is ther with me through all that has happened. I pray that He is with you as well and wish you all a blessed Christmas.

Unexpected Joys

2009-12-01T13:32:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up to find that someone left the door open to my upright freezer (probably was me) and all of the contents had defrosted. The minute the kids got on the bus, I was busy cleaning and cleaning. After that I was trying to find ways to use the defrosted meat and needless to say I have spent a good part of the day cooking meat, frying meat, etc. The day started horrible but as I was doing this I had a Joyce Meyer show on. Normally I don't watch t.v. while working but my wonderful husband hooked up a small t.v. in my ktchen so I cold remain sane today. Joyce was talking about how you as a person handle unexpected things in your life and it got me thinking. Yes this is not how I was going to spend my day, but this is such a minor thing compared to what others go through on a daily basis. She put it all into perspective for me. Even with this aborted adoption of Mariam crashing down on us. God will carry us through and hopefully one day we will see it more clearly. Well back to work, I am only half through my day of cooking. God Bless you all on this fine day.

Another week gone

2009-11-25T15:24:00.000-05:00

Can't believe that it's been a week since I blogged. It has been a long week and one where I really did not feel like talking with anyone. We have let go of the idea of adopting Mariam. If it happens in the future than we will be thrilled. I have given it over to God. Obviously he can move mountains and for some reason he is not moving this one for us. Since I wrote last I received an e-mail from Ghana stating that there would be no adoptions at this time (what does that mean, I don't know). Now since I know kidnapping is wrong, we are left with no other choice. It's very hard leaving knowing that Mariam is in a tough situation. BUT God loves her and is watching over her. We will more than likely stay with Imagine and switch to Ethiopia. I have nothing against Ethiopia and that was my first choice but for some reason we decided to go with Ghana. It will just mean a very long wait for us. At least 2 years. I will be 43 by then. We will also sign on with our local CAS and see what comes of that. It is possible to adopt here and still be able to adopt from Ethiopia. I'm trying to leave this up to God. Now that our decision has been made, I feel a huge weight lifted off of me. I can still get very down when I think of Mariam and what could of been, but she was never mine in the first place. I am excited to get back to normal and get everything ready for Christmas. Blessings to all until I talk to you again.

No News

2009-11-18T08:37:00.000-05:00

I was hoping to come out of my meeting with some specific news. It seems everyone is very nervous when it comes to Ghana. They wanted documentation that Mariam is in fact available for adoption and then they were going to check out the whole immigration thing with Ghana. So back to waiting without any definite answers. They did say they would like to help if they could. Conitue to pray that doors will be opened. I know that there are many hurting children and if its not Mariam that we can help, it will be someone else.

Ups and Downs

2009-11-13T22:05:00.000-05:00

It seems that every day I get 2 pieces of news about the adoption. One is good and the other is bad. The good news today is that I have an appointment with a different agency . They can get a one time license and just help us complete ours. They have not said yes yet as I have still to talk to them. But having said that, if they say yes I feel bad about those others that do not have an agency. And the bad news of the day is a comment by someone saying that it would be extremely hard to adopt from Ghana right now because there is an investigation going on. No details were given to me.My appointment with the agency is Tuesday Nov.17th and then I'll hopefully have more news for everyone.
Tonight we took our kids and some of their friends to see A Christmas Carol. I wouldn't recommend it to kids or to wimpy ladies like myself. There were very graphic scary ghosts on this digital 3d version of one of my favorite Christmas stories.It's hard to believe that CHristmas is just around the corner. Last year I refused to send out family pictures because I wanted to wait until our family is complete. It's now a year later and we are no further ahead. Hopefully there will be some progress soon.

Meet my family

2009-11-10T09:47:00.000-05:00

It's 9:30 in the morning and as a stay at home mom of 4 crazy kids and one busy husband I should be doing stuff. I can't seem to pull myself away from this computer and any potential information on our adoption. We have had one person come forward and offer to help us through this adoption but it is still a long road ahead. I am no longer nieve to think that this will happen soon. I was so clueless when we started this whole process. The whole world is too complex to think that you could do something helpful like adopt an orphan. Even is I were to adopt from Canada the process is complex. The question is, am I strong enough to stay the course?

For those of you that don't know me this is my beautiful family. Kyle to the far right is my oldest at 15 yrs. Great sense of humor and enjoys hunting (we are a family of rednecks). Rachel at the top is 13 and is our shy quiet one who could read all day long. Kelsey to the left is 11 and our mischevious one. She is the source of much screaming from her younger brother. Zach in the middle is 9 and is why I have some grey hair. Full of life and adventure. And the most important is my wonderful husband of 18 years, Barry. Whithout him supporting my dream (which has become our dream) of adoption we would not be here. The man has a heart of gold. I am truly blessed and would love another 1 or 2 kids join our family through adoption.

Well it really is time to go and do my motherly things. Thanks for listening.

Emotional Rollercoaster

2009-11-06T13:53:00.000-05:00

I sometimes wonder why God gives you a vision , but it is so hard to go through the process of attaining it. Is there something he wants me to learn in this process. Faith has been a lot on my mind lately. Is my faith not as big as a mustard seed? What about the faith of all the ather Christian families goin through this process (and I know there are some strong Christians among us). How much should I rely on God and what can I be doing to get this thing going?

I had just come to the point of saying "okay God maybe this is not the child you have in mind". Maybe it's time to let go and move on. How do I let go of a little girl who I know cannot be cared for physically by her family. Does she have food? Is her family aware of her emotional needs? Does she feel safe and cared for? I knew because of changes in the social welfare system in Ghana that she had been sent back to her mom (family?? -I don't really know who). I know that her best friend -who also got sent back to relatives died whithin a week of being there. Now I found out that she is back at the orphanage. I think that is good thing , but how many changes can one little girl handle in a month? I can now at least keep tabs on her. We have also had someone come out of the woodwork offering to help with the CIC. Is this just offering me more hope or will I it get shattered again (Mustard seed -hmm????)?Why does God not just write letters and send them to you? I like things that are simple and direct. Someone reminded me today that prayer does work (thanks Trevor). God can do amazing things. I'll hold on to that (at least for today and then I hope someone else will remind me again tomorrow).

What to do now

2009-11-03T00:11:00.000-05:00

Hi friends and family. This is my very first blog. I'll share a little bit about our situation. In May 2008 Barry and I decided to adopt. Yes we do already have 4 children but feel like we have so much left to give. I researched and researched and decided on an agency that looked strong and a country. We decided on Ethiopia and went to work getting all the documentation needed for this. Talk about hoops to jump through. A couple of months after our decision we switched our country to Ghana. Our agency had just started a new program with many promises of a quick smooth adoption. We continued to work towards finishing all the paperwork and aproval. In Dec. of 2008 our dossier (paperwork) arrived in Ghan and so the wait began. We joined a network of other parents adopting from ghana and started hearing about referals . We continued to wait. The referals stopped and no court dates were set for those that did have referals. In the meantime we fell in love with a beautiful 3 yr old online and put in a request to the orphanage to adopt her. Soon we found that all was not well with the orphanage and the agency. Adoptions were halted because of false allegations against the orphanage. The orphanage director worked hard to set things straight but it was no use. During this time (unknown to us) the agency was having its own issues. We found out in July 2009 that Imagine agency had declared bankruptcy and all our money had disappeared. Over the next few months people worked hard to restructure Imagine and get it up and running. In Sept. we found out that indeed Imagine would be able to run again but with extra costs to those families adopting. Unfortunately, I found out 2 days ago that Ghana would not be part of this. I decided to start this blog to keep everyone up to date on what happens next for our family and to share my frustrations. Pray for our family as we have some decisions to make. Do we continue on with Imagine? Do we try to adopt locally? Do we completely give up on the little girl from Ghana? Some of these decisions need to be made in the next few weeks. Help