Emotions since referral

One would think my one and only emotion right now would be joy. It is my main emotion but other ones keep creeping into my daily life:

JOY- definitely happy,happy,happy about this referral

RELIEF- a huge wait has been lifted from our life in knowing that we have a referral and we can move forward.
              

PANIC- will I be a good mom to a child who has lost so much already? Will I be able to meet his emotional
 needs? Am I to old to be patient with a toddler?

WORRY- I worry that something can still disrupt this adoption. I've been through something similar. We
were matched (did not have a referral) with a sweet little girl from Ghana and then everything fell apart. There are many changes happening with Imagine right now and I pray that they will be positive.
               

HURT- A little hurt by people who we are close to who have not congratulated us and refuse to mention anything about what is happening. I wonder what their reaction would be if we were pregnant?

NERVOUS- A little freaked about traveling to a country like Ethiopia. Excited but nervous. AHH!!!

SAD- Sad for all my blogger and Yahoo friends who are anxiously waiting for their referral. Sad for all that
my little guy has lost in order to get to this point.

IMPATIENT- I was fine for about a week and now I just want to know when court is. It will be at least
another couple of weeks before we find that out.

HONORED- That we were chosen to be this little guys parents. What an amazing privilege!!!

AMAZED- That God was in control and decided we needed a little boy. Amazed that we have been
matched with this little guy since the beginning of November. What took them so long??



I don't talk a whole lot about my family. I don't want them to feel like I invade their privacy.But I had to mention that my oldest who is now 16 1/2 just got baptized last Sunday. What an experience. He has matured so much over the years and is so much fun to be around. Not everyone can say that about their teen son. God has done great things in his life. He has blessed me immeasurably. Thank you God!!
I also need to mention that he just bought his first motorbike and car. Next picture you see of me will be with  a full head of grey hair.

SURPRISE AND SHOCK

YES!!!! We have our referral.

We have a referral of a handsome little guy.

I know what you are all thinking .Where's the girl you have been waiting for for 2 years?

We received a phone call this morning (of course I was out shopping and my husband got the call) that they have a 2 year old boy for us. We were shocked to say the least. I raced home and checked my homestudy update and sure enough the last line read  "a child 0-42 months". How did we miss this?

It took me all of 1/2 a second to look at that picture and fall in love. Hauntingly big sad eyes. I was hooked.

It's not that we never wanted a boy. We have 2 boys and 2 girls right now. I love my boys to bits. We just thought that a girl in a third world country has less options when they grow older. And if I'm honest with myself I love dressing up little girls (pretty shallow-Right?).

I believe that if God wanted us to have that girl He would have made that happen. For some reason He wants this little dude in our home and we are thrilled.

It didn't take long for our kids to adjust to the idea. They are already in love with him.

Adoption update

No, not a referral. I wish I would be sharing that with you. We did have the pleasure of more paperwork and more money deposited into our wonderful government. Apparently we needed to have our birth certificates and our marriage certificate certified once again. Up until recently, these documents did not expire when you do your update. But now somehow doing it once is not good enough. Okay so we did that. The problem then is that these documents don't have the same date as all our other updated documents from Sept. So we need to send them away to get a Statutory Declaration. A Satutory  Declaration is a list of all documents that you need and they need to be notarized, legalized and authenticated by the Ethiopian Embassy here in Canada.  No document can be dated after the Statutory Declaration that we did in Sept. so we need to do a new one. This does cost money (not a huge sum in light of everything we paid) and it takes time. Time, time, time, time!!!! The days and weeks seem to feel like they drag on. I have a strong feeling we are close but when you are told this will all take up to 3 weeks, that seems like forever. This is all supposed to prevent delays in courts in Ethiopia so I guess that is a good thing. We'll see if it works. I just wonder what's going to come out of the woodwork next.

"Today I will make a Difference"

As I was cleaning out some neglected cupboards I found a poem that I have cherished. I will now post it by my bathroom mirror where I can see it as a reminder. This adoption ( along with a few other things) has been tough on me. I hope this encourages you as well today.




Today I Will Make a Difference
by Max Lucado

Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.

I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving. Today I will make a difference.

I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It's OK to stumble... I will get up. It's OK to fail... I will rise again. Today I will make a difference.

I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.

Today I will make a difference.

Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failure. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on.


Blessings on you and your family today.

19 YEARS

Yesterday -January 18th- we celebrated 19 years together.

What a ride it has been!!!

God has blessed me with such an amazing man!!

Thank you God!!!

New Member of the Family

We welcomed a new member to our family this weekend. No we did not get a referal. Our daughter bought herself a baby hedgehog. She named her daisy. Our daughter Kelsey has been the most affected by this very slow adoption. She has a super tender heart and just wants her sister home. She has been begging for a hedgehog for some time and we thought it might be a good distraction for her. Daisy is still a little skitish around people but is expected to turn into a very fun pet. Oh what we do for our kids. I never in a million years expected a creature like this in our home. LOL.

Pre-Christmas B.C. visit

This year we went to B.C. the week before Christmas. We went to celebrate Christmas with my family and also celebrate my parent's 50th anniversary which happens in January. These are pictures of 3 of my kids enjoying the mountains. They were real troopers on their day of skiing. They enjoyed every bit of that day. Zach (in the top picture) was in tears on his first run down but didn't want to leave the mountain at the end of the day.

-I am thankful that I have a patient husband who loves to teach the kids a varitey of things. (I am not a skiier)

-I am thankful that the kids could reconnect with their cousins

-I am thankful for the time spent with my parents and siblings

-I am thankful for the beauty that B.C. has to offer ( God has given us so many beautiful things to enjoy)

-I am thankful that we had this time together as a family

NOW back to reality and bring on the referral.