Can I be In Charge

I watch the news and I see pictures of Hatian children alone, scared, hurt, etc. I see the little ones without parents. Other times I watch pictures of kids starving in African countries. I see kids abandoned in orphanages in Romania (the problem has not gone away). This week I heard that unicef is calling Haiti to put a hold on adoptions. Are they in charge? This just breaks my heart. The country was full of orphans before the earthquake. Why can we not get them homes? I have a home.By all acounts I have jumped through all the hoops required of me to adopt internationally. I have taken courses. I have had police checks (yes even an interpol police check). I have talked to social workers. I have a big house with 6 bedrooms. I have food we regularly throw out because it goes bad before we can eat it. I have time-I am a stay at home mom. If these kids are safe with anyone it would be me. I would love to bring over a few Haitian children. It would not be a hardship for us. Yes it would be an adjustment. I'm not even talking about the recently orphaned kids. I'm talking about the ones that have been in the orphanages for a while and have no one. I'm not the only one willing to do this. There are thousands of families who could take in kids in a flash. But no. We are not in charhe. Why can't I be in charge? But instead it's groups like UNICEF that have the voice. Keep the kids in Haiti they say. There might be a long lost relative that will take them. Never mind the fact that it could take years to find this person and then they might not even want the child. Their future is in Haiti they say. Wow, what an awesome future for these kids. This is their country and their culture they say. Well I SAY: What about love? What about stability? What about food? What about health? What about dreams? What about being tucked into bed at night by a mommy who is yours (even though she is not the same color)? Who will dry their tears? Who will listen to them? Will UNICEF be able to do this for all these kids? Will they look them in the eye and tell them " you will need to stay in this country that is destroyed and you will live out your remaining childhood in an orphanage. You will then need to go out into this destroyed country without an education and try and survive for the rest of your life". Can I be in charge? I do not understand their reasoning. I only understand that these kids need homes like ours. They need hugs. They need smiles. They need us. Why can't I be in control?????

Great week.

This is one of those weeks that I have been waiting for . The last few months have been filled with bad news. The first bit of good news came from my mother-in-law. She had a few tests back in Dec. and we were all expecting bad news but instead it was great news. I credit God totally for this miracle. Then (a little more minor) my husband found a great deal on a truck and him and I are off to Georigia next week to pick it up. The great thing is it's our 18th anniversary and we get a trip out of this. Then the list for waiting parents came out and we are #87. Amazing. I thought we'd at least be #120 or something. Maybe this whole thing will not take as long as I thought. I hope the positive news keeps coming. I am really enjoying this feeling.
P.S.-Just heard of another referral today!!!!!!

Another Referal

Things are moving again. There were 4 referrals before Christmas and I just heard of another one today. This excites me more than words can say. There is a light at the end of the tunnel for us. I think we are only about 7 months behind this couple and for the first time I feel optimistic that this will not take as long as I thought. I try not to feel to much optimism for fear of getting burned. I still think of our little Mariam and wonder what she is doing. I wonder if she has enough food to eat. I wonder if her mother loves her like a mother should. I dare not tell my kids of my optimism . They have been crushed by the whole Ghana thing. Our little Zachary still prays about the adotion every night. We don't talk about it much anymore. And I also found out that today is the Ethiopian Christmas. How exciting that we can celebrate twice. I might even let the kids stay home from school when our little one joins the family.

New years Resolution

I am so thankful as I start a New Year. Thankful that I have an amazing husband and 4 wonderful kids. Thankful that we have a roof over our heads and a great church. Thankful that I have so many amazing friends. Thankful that God has brought me on this adoption journey. Yes it has been incredibly painful but it has made me more determined as well. I believe that God has a special someone out there for us. This year is starting out with hope. I can leave 2009 behind and trust in God. I have made two resolutions this year. The big one is to get more in tune with  God. And the second one is to get physically fit. My 4 kids are in school and we will not be adopting this year so this is the perfect time.