I sometimes wonder why God gives you a vision , but it is so hard to go through the process of attaining it. Is there something he wants me to learn in this process. Faith has been a lot on my mind lately. Is my faith not as big as a mustard seed? What about the faith of all the ather Christian families goin through this process (and I know there are some strong Christians among us). How much should I rely on God and what can I be doing to get this thing going?
I had just come to the point of saying "okay God maybe this is not the child you have in mind". Maybe it's time to let go and move on. How do I let go of a little girl who I know cannot be cared for physically by her family. Does she have food? Is her family aware of her emotional needs? Does she feel safe and cared for? I knew because of changes in the social welfare system in Ghana that she had been sent back to her mom (family?? -I don't really know who). I know that her best friend -who also got sent back to relatives died whithin a week of being there. Now I found out that she is back at the orphanage. I think that is good thing , but how many changes can one little girl handle in a month? I can now at least keep tabs on her. We have also had someone come out of the woodwork offering to help with the CIC. Is this just offering me more hope or will I it get shattered again (Mustard seed -hmm????)?Why does God not just write letters and send them to you? I like things that are simple and direct. Someone reminded me today that prayer does work (thanks Trevor). God can do amazing things. I'll hold on to that (at least for today and then I hope someone else will remind me again tomorrow).
3 comments:
My heart goes out to you, Elsie. Don't give up hope. Our God is all about the impossible and believe that he is at work in this situation. He loves that little girl even more than you guys and He always has a plan. His timing isn't always our timing. By the way, she is beautiful!! We will keep you all in our prayers. I really appreciate this blog so we can be updated and pray more specifically. It took me a while to figure out how to leave a comment
Thanks Tash. When I set out to do this I never thought it would be like this. My faith is really being tested and I think that is a good thing. i just wish this wasn't so "darn" hard.
Through our experiences I have really been pressed with the question "do I believe God is good in all circumstances" it is hard on our faith - it also makes our faith stronger if we hold on to him.
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