2 YEARS

Wednesday it will be 2 long years since our file arrived in Ghana. It has since been switched to Ethiopia. I was so desperately hoping for a referal by Christmas. We are so close. We have been close for a long time now. It's hard being so close. It should make sense that it's easier but it isn't. It was easier when there were no expectations. November saw 18 ( yes 18) referals and Dec has seen a few. The expectations built with each referal. There has got to be a little 3 year old angel waiting for a family. Hopefully I will soon have good news for you.

One Year Ago

One year ago we were contemplating which direction we should take in this whole adoption journey. Yes we voted to keep Imagine going but we were unsure if we were going to be part of it. We had been checking into local adoptions and had started the process but my heart kept tugging me towards international. To be honest if we had the money we would have dropped Imagine and started up with a different agency that does South Africa or possibly the waiting children from China. But that option was not there. It was only a couple of days before the Dec 17th (I think that's the right date) deadline that we followed our hearts and signed on with Imagine. They told us at that point it would be a year to a year and a half until we received our referral. Well, we are almost at a year and still no referral. It has been an incredibly hard year with a few ups and many downs in this adoption journey. I am so glad we are at this point and have toughed it out. Sometimes each day feels like a week and each week a month, but here we are. We are a year closer - praise the Lord.

Also a year ago my dear mother-in-law whose health has not been great the last few years got very sick. We wondered if this was the beggining of the end and celebrated Christmas like it might be our last. But, she rallied and is still with us in better health than she was this time last year. I would love for her to meet our little one from Ethiopia because she has been so supportive. I know she would have no problem loving this one like all her other grandchildren.

As for referrals, there has been an amazing 12 so far this month and we are all celebrating. There have been many baby referrals and many older children referrals. We are right in the middle of that. You would think there would be a few 3 year olds in this new orphanage. We will hold out and wait for the daughter that God has in store for us.

The following pictures are my families attempts at making a Christmas card. Combine 6 people, a crazy dog and a camera that has a 2 second timer on it and you have the makings of a very stressful 1/2 hour. Try and press a button and run to your place in 2 seconds. Well my daughter rachel managed that and this is what we came up with. LOL

Impatience

I can feel my impatience with the adoption growing again. It's like the waves of sea for me. I'm okay (never great) for days and sometimes weeks and then it builds and builds.Soon I'm going to crash and have a heart to heart talk with God and I will once again realize it's all in His hands and the timing will be perfect. But I am human and I am getting frustrated. I read many adoption blogs from the states and I really do appreciate them but they can also make me sad. I read about  families that adopt a child almost every year. Unheard of in Canada. December it will be two years since our file was sent off. (Yes I know my Lilypie says that it has been longer. I set her from when we started the journey) I know that they have many matched children and families. What, oh what, could take so long. Ya, Ya, I know - paperwork.  Paperwork has become a swear word in my life. Lot's of people have also been asking about it lately and that is a two-edged sword for me. I'm happy that they are still thinking about us and upset that I have no answers. But, if you are reading this please don't stop asking. Most people just assume that we have given up and for some reason that makes me a little mad. Don't worry about me. I am not losing it. I just needed to vent. Most people I know have no idea what this is like. A close freind actually thought I already had a referal.(I'm sure I would have shouted it from the rooftops if we had).They have no idea no matter how much I explain to them. Well, thanks for listening.

Roller Coaster Ride

I have found that in this world of international adoption many feelings can surface in any given day. A lot of those actually have to do with others that are going through this same experience. I have been blessed with new relationships through this adoption. Yes, we just connect via blogs or the Yahoo page, but, nontheless we have formed a bond. We rejoice with each other when there is good news. We cry with each other when there is unexpected sad news. We share our frustrations when there is no news. We pass along valuable information to each other - anything that will make this journey smoother. We hope with each other. Yesterday I heard very exciting news on the Yahoo board and within an hour heard what could be sad news through a blog. To those of you that have had unsettling things happen with their adoption, know that I will be praying for you. To all of you out their who have posted encouragements on my blog, thank you and thank you. It makes me feel less lonely in this world of adoption. I consider you my friends if only for this season because without you I could not get through this. But my greatest friend is my heavenly Father. He is reminding me daily that He loves me and He loves my family and He loves this precious girl waiting for us in Ethiopia. Deuteronomy 10:18 describes God as one who executes justice for the orphan and the widow. We have a mighty God who is on our side.



I'm also thankful for my amazing family. God has filled my cup and it is good.

Orphans in Ghana

As most of you know, we originally were going to adopt from Ghana. That turned into a huge political struggle on both sides of the continent. Ghana was going through social reform and thought it best to close down a lot of their orphanages. The orphanage that Imagine was working with was closed down because of alleged trafficking charges. These charges were eventually dropped but the damage was done. The man behind all these changes and these charges is the director of Social Welfare. He went throughout the country closing down orphanages and sending children back to the villages they came from or back to family, no matter how distant. Often these children were sent back into extreme poverty and were not received well by family members. They were another mouth to feed. ( How sad to go back to family who does not want you) I heard of two infants dieing within months of going back to their village. These were children that were matched with waiting families in Canada. But because of lack of interest of the Canadian government and the stubbornness of the director of social welfare these children would not live long. The director of Social Welfare has his own orphanage that is run by him. This orphanage was obviously not shut down but should have been. An investigative reporter has gone in undercover and taken some disturbing footage of life in the Osu Children's Home. It reminds me of the news stories of the homes in Romania. It's a 6 part series and you can view this on YOUTUBE. Search for Osu children's home. But please don't allow your children to watch these.
I must add that there were many loving orphanages that were shut down by the Director. I don't really know everything that happened there to close down the Ghana adoption program. I know that it was probably not going to happen even if there were no trafficking charges. The Canadian High Commission in Ghana frowns upon international adoption. I guess they figure that it is better for these children to languish in orphanages than find a forever family.
As I watch these short videos I am once again angry. Angry that our government is to lazy to work out a simple adoption program with another country (Ghana would not oppose adoptions to Canada). Angry that children are living this horrible nightmare when we would have gladly adopted one or two. Angry that the citizens of this world are more concerned with their next GREAT TOY than they are for orphans. Even most christians I know could not possibly support an oprhan because they are to busy thinking of themselves. I am angry that I had to give up adopting a beautiful girl named Mariam ( she would have been with us for over a year already). Angry that international adoptions have to be so complicated in this free country of Canada. Angry that there are many childless couples longing for one of these children. Angry that families in the States could complete 3 adoptions in the time it will take me to complete one. Angry that it seems like there is absolutely nothing I can do about any of this
.
I can however pray.
Pray that the hearts of our government will be changed.
Pray that adoptions in Ghana will be available
Pray that the hearts of people everywhere will be turned to the plight of the orphans.
Pray that the church takes serious the command to take care of orphans.

Sunday Nov. 7th is Orphan Sunday. Please if you are not already doing something look into what you can do for an orphan. There are many organizations that you can support. Check out some of my favorite links in the top corner. Better yet, think seriously of adoption.

Osu Children's Home in Ghana

Still alive.

Yes, I am still alive. I  survived (just barely) my birthday week. I threw in a couple of Thanksgiving family gatherings just to make sure I didn't get too bored. Add on cross country meet, soccer tournament,2 ortho appointments,2 dentist appointments, and a full day at the hospital with my dear mother-in-law in the weeks following (and absolutely no movement on the adoption scene) and I'm now ready to take a deep breath and chill for a while. I really don't have anything exciting to post but thought I should let everyone know that absolutley nothing is happening with referals. It's been at least 6 weeks since the last one and even then it was only one in the month of Sept. How can this possibly take so long? I'm at a loss. I know there are people who have been waiting longer than me that are just hurting right now. There are kids that have been separated from everything they know that are confused and in pain and need a stable home. I also do know that God loves them and I trust that He is control. I am excited for some dear people who have been receiving visas after a very long wait. Enjoy those little ones.
The weekend is almost upon me and I actually enjoy the reprieve from any expectations about this adoption. I know that any phone calls can not be about the adoption. I look forward to the end of one dissapointing week and the start of a week filled with expectations. I enjoy having my kids home to keep me busy and keep my mind off the wait. My dear farmer husband is ours for the whole day of Sunday. Thank you God for weekends.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING......

That's the comment I get every year at this time. The first week of Oct. is crazy for me. Three of my kids have their birthdays. Kelsey is on the 4th and Kyle and Zach are on the 7th. To top it off I also have a nephew's birthday on the 7th and my father-in-law's is on the 5th. And let us not forget Thanksgiving which gets thrown in there somewhere. What was I thinking??? Well if you go back 9 months it's our anniversay. So that would be a reasonable explanation.  But the real explanation is 2 miscarrages. I never intended on having 3 Oct. babies but I guess God had other plans. I just pray that God does not plan on our Ethiopian child to have a birthday the same time. So pray that I remain sane over the nezt week.

No new adoption news. There was only 1 referal for the month of Sept. How discouraging. Hopefully the new orphanage will have some children ready with their documents soon.

Homestudy approved

We received word today that our homestudy has finally been approved. This was our change of country and 2 year homestudy update. I am a little excited about that although still discouraged about the lack of referals lately. So far there has been one this month. People around me are getting antsy for referal news from us. I don't know what to tell them. It's on my mind constantly. Again it could happen tomorrow or it could be a few more months. Most of us waiting feel like we are constantly in our 9th month of pregnancy. I know God knows the day and already knows our special girl and I take comfort in that. I just wish he would send me a little note letting me know. The physical pain of natural birth is nothing compared to the heartache if international adoption. People are probably wondering if that's the case then why do it? I would say that God has called us for this and He does not give us anything more than we can handle. Continue to pray for us and for an extra measure of patience.

Wait

"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Psalm 27:14

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope" Psalm 130:5

"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18

Lately I started thinking that in life we spend a lot of time waiting. We are all waiting for different things and it is never easy. Sometimes it's waiting for something fun and other times it's waiting for an awful thing that will happen. While we wait, what do we focus on? More often than not, we focus on the event and what it will be like and how it will impact our life. We get so consumed by it that we can't think about anything else.
I wondered what the bible had to say about waiting. These are 3 of the 10 verses that speak about waiting.Wouldn't you know that in all the verses we are waiting for God.
They talk about being blessed while we wait.
They talk about what to do while we wait (read his word and put our hope in it).
It tells us how to be while we wait - be strong(Psalm 27:14) and patient (Psalm 40:1)
It talks about gifts we receive from him while we wait. Acts 1:4 - the Holy Spirit
                                                                                  Romans 8:23 our adoption into His family
It tells us who we are waiting for. -His Son- 1 Thessalonians 1:10

Waiting is part of life and sometimes it downright stinks. After reading these verses I am trying to adjust my mindset. When I think of our adoption I remind myself that in life I am waiting for God. I am trying to "be strong and take heart". I am trying to carve out more time to dig into his word.

P.S. All of you waiting for your visas. You are in my prayers daily. It's been a long wait for you.

Still Waiting

We still have not received ministry approval. They had some questions this week about our "foster" son that is living with us. This is new from 2 years ago when we first received approval. Our adoption practitioner figured we would receive approval next week. I'm not sure if I'll breath easier then or be more uptight.
 The good news is that Imagine just signed on with a new orphanage with exclusive rights. That means the children from that orphanage will be only referred to Imagine parents. Of course it could take a while for the paper work to be finished for these children.

For Anna

This post is for Anna. I read your blog and don't see a place to respond. I've wanted to respond many times but don't know how. This is for the Anna that has a referal for a little girl from Ethiopia and is waiting for her visa. I just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family. It seems like you have had an extra long wait. Also wanted to let you know that your blog has been an inspiriation. It has gotten me through some tough days of waiting for our referal. We are both at the waiting stages now. I feel like I am nearing the end of my wait for a referal and you are nearing the end of your wait for your precious little girl. You will be in my prayers and thoughts while we both wait.

Dreamworld and an exciting week.

Okay, I think that i was possibly living in a dreamworld in my last post. While I still think things are moving, I might not be as close as I'd like to be.
BUT oh such delicious news from the Yahoo board.  3 sibling referrals and one single referral in a weeks time. How exciting for these dear families. Some have been waiting for a sibling referral for 2 1/2 years.
This is also good news for everyone else. It means that they are getting caught up in Ethiopia with all the extra paper work that was required. I imagine they will now get it all when the child is relinquished. So, all in all this is great news for everyone. Every referral is a referral closer to our own.
God always has perfect timing and I'm sure He has that in mind for this as well. It's not always easy to wait for God's timing, but I find that things always work out for the best. There have been many times in life when I thought that I had it all figured out and then it turns out totally different and always much better than I envisioned.
We had a great sermon the other week. One that I felt I could get definite answers from. 99% of the time I'm positive that we are doing God's will in adopting a child. I could feel it in my inmost being. BUT through the bankruptcy of Imagine, the change of country and things people have said I have had the odd struggle. It was possibly more like maybe we should be adopting locally instead of  internationally. Anyway our pastor had a sermon on how to figure out if it's God's will or if it's your own. Here are
10 Questions to ask when facing a decision or a change of direction:

1. Have you prayed about it?
2. Is it consistent with the Word of God?
3. Can I do it and be a positive christian witness?
4. Will the Lord be glorified?
5. Am I acting responsibly?
6. Is it reasonable?
7. Does a reasonable opportunity exist?
8. Are unbiased, spiritually sensitive associates in agreement?
9. Do I have a sanctified (God given) desire?
10. Do I have a God given peace about it?

Well I could honestly say yes to all the above and now I can wait in perfect peace. Pray for my family as we wait.

Please Phone, RING

How does one even begin to describe this crazy journey I'm on? I feel like a pop can that's been shaken and shaken. One minute I'm going to burst with joy that we are doing this and the next moment I'm going to burst with frustration that it has taken this long.
Today my poor husband does not know what to do with me. I can't even sit and read ( which is my favorite thing to do). He's trying to still the excitement that is building in me. We've had some corrispondance with the agency about some missing papers. From the e-mails I sense an urgency to get these all in to the ministry. From what I was told at the end of June, it would take the ministry 3-4 months to look at my update (which consisted of a change of country and age chang). I was told that if there was a match, they would expedite it. It has only been there about 6-7 weeks. I now am almost positive that there is a match for us but the ministry approval has to be completed.
RING PHONE RING
Everything needed was e-mailed to the ministry yesterday. What are the chances that they will get to it today?
AHHH. The phone just rang. A soliciter. I have some not so nice thoughts for them right now.
Hopefully my next post for you will have some good news but for now I must go and find something to occupy my time.

In the Mean Time....

Well life does go on as we wait. We are a farming family and life gets pretty busy around here. My youngest two ages 9 and 11 are hoeing a field of peppers. My other daughter Rachel (age 14) is picking cucumbers. That is probably one of the worst farming jobs I've come across. You sit on a slow moving machine with your back bent down to pick the cucmbers. She's a tropper - she rarely complains. My oldest (age 15) has an air conditioned job at the local grocery store stocking shelves. He does get out to help on the farm his days off. Our foster son Ben (age 17) has a job at the local Provincial Park. And my job is to hoe with the youngest two and be a taxi driver for everyone else. At this time of year Barry is usually busy on the farm from morning till night. Sometimes it's a crazy life but most of the time it's a good life. It's good to see the kids devolping a strong work ethic. They appreciate the extra money they make and are pretty good at saving it ( if it was mom's money they would be quick to spend it). They still have lots of time to play with friends and swim in the pool or lake. It's evenings like this after a busy day of work and having fun that I realize how blessed we are. Blessed to be able to work as a family and play as a family. And I hope that by this time next year we will have our sweet daughter from Ethiopia to join in all this.

Update on adoption - July has seen 5 referals so far. Pretty exciting seeing as June had none and May had one. This new batch of referals will have to go to Ethiopia twice. Once for court and again to pick up their child. Unfortunately court closes in Ethiopia for most of August and and Sept.  One referal has their court date set for Oct. which seems to be a long wait. We are still hoping for a referal before this year is done.